Inauthenticity: what the fuck, mates?
Just a warning, right off the bat. As some of you know, this last year or so has taken me on a somewhat trippy psychological and philosophical journey. Bits and pieces of this are likely to come out, over the course of this blog. Be forewarned.
But back to today's topic. Inauthenticity. I'm fucking tired of it. What is this thing about the workplace, people put up this weird facade, and it is hard to break through. I do it myself. I can feel myself doing it. I'm trying to take it down, I really am. Sometimes I'm more successful than others. But what I want, what I'm aching for, is that real, authentic, soul-to-soul connection. INTIMACY. Now, some may read this and think, damn, this Nina girl really needs to get laid. Well, maybe. But, am I wrong in thinking that intimacy can come in many forms? It happens sometimes, I've seen it. And it's beautiful when it does.
I had a conversation last night with my roommates. I was like, I want to connect with people. They were like, that doesn't happen anymore. You can't get that at work. Now, I don't really agree with this. I have made some friends at work. Or at least I'm friendly with people at work. But still, I feel like there is something that comes up sometimes, dividing us. The feeling that we have to put up a facade?
(Just an aside: these roommates of mine. I would totally be friends with them. But. It has been slow going with them. They don't seem so interested in interaction.)
The thought on my mind right now is this: whether or not you connect with someone depends, crucially, on how you approach the interaction. If you can be authentic, and put your whole, real, defenseless self out there, you might just be lucky enough to find someone else who will do the same. You can make someone feel like it is safe to share themselves with you. But if you have your guard up, if you have that veneer of inauthenticity, if you are trying to protect yourself from getting hurt, then the likelihood that you'll actually feel that real conncection is slim.
Ok, those are my thoughts at the moment. Please do post challenges or feedback as it comes to you. Just as long as it's authentic, you know.
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2 comments:
Dear Tired of Inauthenticity,
Obviously your Zombie Roommates have never watched The Office!! Heh. But seriously, we should hold a protest against Inauthentic Zombie behavior. I will fly out to San Fran just for that...
nina! thanks for commenting on my blog. You can read it more, though lately i've only bee posting monthly. Things are pretty good with me, we should chat though. I miss you and hope you have found some authentic people in San Fran since you last typed. You should go to Melt! coffee shop in North Beach. That's where I met my San Francisco friend (who is no longer there though) and everyone there will want to be your friend.
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